Big girls don’t cry……

by Rachel Marley

Tonight I cried…..and for a long time. I had a meeting to attend and on the way, it started. 

And for what it seemed for no good reason. As soon as I arrived I dropped off some documents and promptly left with the reason of not feeling well…which was emotionally true.

I don’t like to cry and actually it is not that often (unless there is an emotional tv show or ad!). I really reflected tonight on why it is I don’t like to cry of which I still don’t really know the answer but I suspect some energy healing may draw it out of me.

Even though we know that thoughts create our reality sometimes the thoughts and feelings that can run over and over in the mind just are not the ones we know we should and want to have. Guilt for crying, not being the best mum today and generally feeling like I could not get my Sh** together today was the first thought. Shame was the second. There is no good reason for me to be upset. I have a husband, beautiful children, besties and family I can call at any time. Who am I to be feeling sorry for myself! And the feeling of trying to desperately keep in the positive space when it is actually ok to feel different or sad, especially when there has been some big changes in life over the last 6 weeks.

Ladies….I wanted to share this to give you permission and know its ok to release and if need be cry. Without shame, without guilt and most importantly to go with it. As humans it is important to experience the full range of emotions as when we experience joy, happiness, or contentment it is organic and authentic. As mothers, carers, partners and business women the pressure at times is real and overwhelming!

So where to from here?

Sometimes when we are in the state of guilt, shame or just sad there are different coping mechanisms that people use in attempt to relieve the feelings. Large glass of wine (and to be honest this was a passing thought), comfort food, smoking and other addictive behaviours are just to name a few.

Some key strategies that can help move through the emotions:

  1. Be aware. Catch your thoughts. Why are you feeling this way? Even though you think it may sound ridiculous to someone else it doesn’t matter and its ok.
  2. Who is part of your tribe? Is there someone you can call or drive to have a cuppa and just vent or debrief? If not this may be part of your journey.
  3. Allow time – the old saying of time heals everything definitely holds some truth to it. Just sit with the feelings and allow yourself some time to process.
  4. Try to avoid the booze, cigarettes and limit comfort food as even though these may seem soothing at the time, the next day and long term may be an issue
  5. Its ok to have emotions! We are living this human experience and part of this journey is to experience. We all have permission to run with it.

The women that I am privileged to meet and work with in my clinical practice are some of the most dedicated, loving and strongest people I have met. It is important to allow ourselves to run with emotions however, it is also important to catch ourselves and begin to be aware of the reasons, the why and how we pull ourselves through these times.

We are humans…being…and experiencing life. Let’s make sure we are doing it together.

Comments 2

  1. Wonderful Post Rach, I was out at one of Matts work nights tonight and just read this, otherwise I would have called you. I will ring tomorrow xxx

  2. Spot on, we are all good enough even though we feel we need to be more. I am glad to read, I am not the only one crying sometimes. Let’s build eachother up together to create future magic.
    Keep creating your magic….the world needs more of your goodness

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